Tag Archives: fat

On Body Dysmorphia

24 Jan

She looked at me down her aquiline nose, letting me know that she’d noticed my second trip to the Christmas dessert table: “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, Jennifer Nicole” she said, and my 13 year old hand placed the golf ball sized ricciarelli back on the platter.  In a year, I’d be taller than she was and in two I’d learn from a girlfriend that a daily dose of Ex-Lax would keep my stomach flat flat flat enough that I wouldn’t have to unbutton my pants to get them down past my hips.

When I was a young girl, I grew up watching my mother tornado about our living room in shorts and a t-shirt, bounce, bounce, bouncing her way through any number of Jane Fonda workout videos.  Good old Jane, in a chevron striped leotard, would be bent in half, calling out instructions that my mother did her uncoordinated best to follow.  The prescribed dosage of these videos was one a day, but my mother would do three or four in a row starting the second after she had put dinner on the table for my brother and I.   Next to her, would be a can of Diet Pepsi with a bendy straw poking out of the metal hole in the top….

She never ate, that woman, always doing some chore when we were eating.  When my dad was home (he traveled a lot for work), she’d finally sit at the table, but even then, it was a show of sleight of hand, a convincing pantomime of eating that she’d perfected over the years.  Weight was a preoccupation with her, and my eight, nine, ten, eleven year old eyes absorbed it all.  She was the most beautiful woman I knew, and it was my mission to earn her love.  Staying thin was one way to remain invisible to the critical glint in her often crazy eyes.

By 16 years old, the idea of my weight was an out-of-control monster that I could not tame.  I would leer at my naked self after showers, horrified at how wide my hips were (never mind that the delicate bones were visible beneath the skin).  I would sit on the edge of my seat in classes to keep my thighs from “spreading” into what I was convinced was a horrific blob of disgusting fat.  Mirrors were evil henchmen distorting the natural curve of my lower abdomen into revolting rolls of cellulite and revealing, out of the shadows, double chins just above my neck.

Over the years, I would wage a silent war with my body image; seeing how many days I could go without eating, waking up before dawn’s light to get an eight mile run in before school, spending hard earned money on The 24-Hour Hollywood Diet and fantasizing about the cost prohibitive lipo procedures that would solve all my woes.  As my body filled out, I’d berate myself for hating my body so much the previous year, wishing only to go back to THAT body instead of the new one that had changed overnight.  ”If only I’d known!” hissed my Inner Monologue.  Ha!  If only I’d known is right.  If that 16 year old, at 93 pounds knew that she’d balloon up to 130, she might have actually committed suicide.

Over the years, I’ve taken small steps, and won some major battles against the drunken juggernaut of my flawed self-image.  I’ve permanently thrown away scales and will only step on one if forced to by someone in a medical setting.  I gauge my weight by how I feel and how my jeans fit, adding more cardio as is necessary.  I focus on fitness and have traded my fixation on weight for a fixation on muscle definition and overall health.  I eat now, and don’t deprive myself of anything, really, but do say no to those things that I’m not totally in love with; forgoing the bread basket before dinner so that I can have a scoop of coffee ice cream after.

Really though, I’ve only traded the method to my madness.  I’ve never been able to appease that awkward and body dysmorphic teen girl.  I still look at myself with that critical eye.  I cringe in dressing rooms when it comes time to try on bathing suits and jeans and skirts and well, basically anything at all.  Married to mirrors, my eyes are constantly roving my body, screeching at the fleshy bulge of skin around my braline and nauseas at the sight of the pillow of paunch around the tops of my jeans.  I am conscious to sit up straight, and to always wear loose fitting clothes that camouflage the little extra I carry around with me.  I still covet other women’s bodies and have a slowly growing savings account for that lipo that I will eventually get.

I can’t speak definitely (for, who really knows what we all wrestle with when the lights go out at night and have only our thoughts on silent loop), but I am fairly sure that this issue occupies my thoughts enough to consider it an obsession, and that anyone knowing the full extent of the way it consumes me would stagger backwards wondering how I function at all with it standing there, akimbo and taunting.  My mirror-image is a demon.  It forces me through workouts though I’m about to pass out.  It holds hands in camaraderie with the guilt of that extra tablespoon of ranch dressing.  It makes me turn out the lights before having sex and denies me the ability to just throw something on for a night on the town.  I keep it at bay, but I don’t know if I can ever exorcise it.

 

6-5-4-3-2-1 Switch!

10 Jan

My apartment is in dreadful need of a cleaning.  A thorough cleaning.  The motivation being that the Old Man and I have company arriving this weekend.  The trouble is, I can’t really get off of this couch, and it’s not because I can’t drag myself away from this screen.

Since about the 2nd or 3rd of this month, I’ve been dealing with an absurd level of “feeling odd.”  At first, I thought that my hangover was stubbornly clinging on, knowing that I’d all but relegated my practice of drinking to excess to my Murtaugh List.  But, by the 5th, ‘The Odd’ had become more serious.

For a couple of decades, I’ve suffered from heart palpitations and irregular heartbeats and shortness of breath.  I’m pretty sure it’s my fault for all the hundreds of packs of Parliament Lights I’d enjoyed, unrestrained throughout the years.  I have a congenital defect called a Mitral Valve Prolapse.  It’s common enough, and harmless, and is known to cause the vague fluttering I feel in my chest from time to time.

Over the past ten days, however, this sensation has felt less like the pleasant-sounding ‘fluttering’ and has felt more like a card sharpe is fanning a deck of 52 cards in the center of my chest cavity.   It’s accompanied by a constant feeling of vague nausea, tingly fingers and the verity that if I get up or turn my head too quickly, the black will creep into the corners of my eyes and I’ll crumple to the floor like a pile of clothes whose owner has suddenly dematerialized.

On two occasions last week, I was in a class at my gym, feeling fatigued, taking it WAY easier than I normally would have done, and I had to consciously focus on NOT passing out because my heart rate was up over 180 and I couldn’t get enough air.  (Trust me, I do NOT want to be THAT girl who passed out during BodyPump.  Can you imagine?!  Oh, the embarrassment!)

This past weekend, I rested.  I napped.  I hoped against hope that this was some kind of bug.  But a bug doesn’t last 10 days.  And quitting smoking should have alleviated these symptoms.  And, well, I just kind of KNOW that something isn’t right.

I’m blathering now though.  I tell you none of this because I want sympathy or because I have nothing to write about today.  I mention it only because now I have to go through the heinous process of finding a GP.  Please join me now in a resounding chorus of “UGH!”

I HATE going to the doctor.  My mother was always kind of a germaphobe.  Every little sniffle required a visit to Dr Mitta, who, though super-kind, always insisted on gagging you with a 10 foot cotton swab after pounding your back with cold hands and using your fingers as a pincushion for the dreaded “bloodwork”.

When I left my house for college, I began treating myself.  And by treating, I mean IGNORING symptoms until they went away on their own.  As ill-advised as this sounds, it’s served me really well.  My body has proved quite resilient….I think most bodies are; we’re designed to regenerate.  (This is not to say that I haven’t run into situations where this mindset ISN’T the smartest.  I’ve been handed a pamphlet that says: SO, You’ve Got Mono, and have been hospitalized for pneumonia and bronchitis contracted at the SAME time, but you get the idea.)

So here I am, knowing that I need to see someone, and hating hating hating that fact with every fiber of my malfunctioning being.  My inner monologue is having a field day in there as I try to make an appointment for sometime within the current century.  Here is what she’s got to say:

1.  What if there is something actually, seriously WRONG?  What if I have heart disease, or a blocked artery or peripheral neuropathy, or a stroke or benign paroxysmal positional vertigo or a transient ischemic attack?  WebMD says that all those things are possible, and all of them will directly impact how I live my life.  I won’t be able to go to the gym because then my heart would explode, and that means that I’ll get fat and my jeans won’t fit and I won’t be attractive with a fat ass and I’ll never want to have sex again and everyone will wonder why I let myself go and I’ll be living a cellulite nightmare and…  anaemia!  anaemia, pleeeeeease let it be anaemia……

2.  There’s going to be needles.  I KNOW there’re going to be needles.  Needles and wires and hoses and tubes and electrodes and ten foot cotton swabs and blood and NEEDLES!  I can’t stand being poked.  But I know that they’re not going to be able to pinpoint it right away, and that will mean BLOODWORK and they never find a vein on the first shot and they’ll stab me twice in each arm, digging around until they decide that they need to use my hand which skeeves me out even more and leaves trails of purpleyellowbluegreen bruises and oh my god I know there’re going to be needles.  Excuse me while I go hyperventilate and cry.

3.  What if I’m just crazy?  What if all of this is a result of panic attacks?  Panic attacks over nothing?  Panic attacks that mean all that work I did last year didn’t make a damn bit of difference and I’m still nuts and dysfunctional and I don’t even live close to Seattle so when they tell me I’ve got to see someone, it can’t be Bluma and I’ll have to start all over again and wait a minute….I like therapy.  Forget anaemia….Let me be crazy.

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