I have very little patience for a post today. The past 48 hours have been a lesson in irritation over the state of my professional life (or lack thereof).
I felt productive when I finished and uploaded my resume onto CareerBuilder and Monster. I felt productive when I finished my profiles on each site to make myself more “searchable.” I felt productive when I sent out two writing samples to online magazines in Spokane, WA. That productivity plummeted when:
1. Those writing samples were returned to me with a pleasant note saying that they required more experience. (These are online publications, with pay based on the number of clicks..not exactly the NYT, you understand.) I know that these are only the first of what are sure to be many more rejections, but they were a blow to the ego nonetheless. I think that somewhere in a corner of my heart, I believed that whoever opened my application would feel an inexplicable draw to call me and shout into the phone: “We need you writing for us NOW! When can you start?!” I never said I wasn’t delusional.
2. EVERY CUSSING JOB POSTING that I was interested in in the local paper is being run by an employment agency that charges $190 just to pass my resume on to prospective employers. Worse still is that after I called this agency the first time, I was on the phone for 5 minutes with no new information about the job I was inquiring after, when it started to FEEL like a hard sell. I stopped the girl and asked her: “What’s the catch?” She dodged my question and continued with her spiel, only to get to the part about the 2 bills yet another 5 minutes later. I politely declined, at which point she said (and I QUOTE): “Well, you obviously aren’t the type of person who we like to hire anyway. Call back when you decide you’d like to work.” ?! Excuse me? How about you piss into a light socket, you evil wench. Three postings and quickly terminated phone calls later, it became evident that this same agency posted multiple listings under DIFFERENT NUMBERS, each answered by the same snotty admin. Fuckery, on all accounts.
3. I responded to two ads from Monster, only to be told: “Sorry, those responses are computer generated, we’re not hiring now.” More fuckery.
4. I responded to an ad in CareerBuilder only to be told: “Oh yeah! Definitely! We’d love to have you in. Give this number a call and schedule the interview.” That number was FOR, you guessed it, the same cussing employment agency. Say it with me now: FUCKERY.
5. I began to sober up from my rose-colored New Years drunk, and realized that the odds of me finding something fulfilling and meaningful in Pasco, WA are slim to nil and I was some kind of blockhead for thinking otherwise.
Amazingly, it took me only two days to shitcan the idealism and revert back to the sarcastic bitch I was before I resolved to greatness in the last month of 2010.
Viva la Snark!