I have very little patience for a post today.  The past 48 hours have been a lesson in irritation over the state of my professional life (or lack thereof).

I felt productive when I finished and uploaded my resume onto CareerBuilder and Monster.  I felt productive when I finished my profiles on each site to make myself more “searchable.”  I felt productive when I sent out two writing samples to online magazines in Spokane, WA.  That productivity plummeted when:

1.  Those writing samples were returned to me with a pleasant note saying that they required more experience.  (These are online publications, with pay based on the number of clicks..not exactly the NYT, you understand.)  I know that these are only the first of what are sure to be many more rejections, but they were a blow to the ego nonetheless.  I think that somewhere in a corner of my heart, I believed that whoever opened my application would feel an inexplicable draw to call me and shout into the phone:  “We need you writing for us NOW!  When can you start?!”  I never said I wasn’t delusional.

2.  EVERY CUSSING JOB POSTING that I was interested in in the local paper is being run by an employment agency that charges $190 just to pass my resume on to prospective employers.  Worse still is that after I called this agency the first time, I was on the phone for 5 minutes with no new information about the job I was inquiring after, when it started to FEEL like a hard sell.  I stopped the girl and asked her: “What’s the catch?”  She dodged my question and continued with her spiel, only to get to the part about the 2 bills yet another 5 minutes later.  I politely declined, at which point she said (and I QUOTE):  “Well, you obviously aren’t the type of person who we like to hire anyway.  Call back when you decide you’d like to work.”  ?!  Excuse me?  How about you piss into a light socket, you evil wench.  Three postings and quickly terminated phone calls later, it became evident that this same agency posted multiple listings under DIFFERENT NUMBERS, each answered by the same snotty admin.  Fuckery, on all accounts.

3.  I responded to two ads from Monster, only to be told:  “Sorry, those responses are computer generated, we’re not hiring now.”  More fuckery.

4.  I responded to an ad in CareerBuilder only to be told: “Oh yeah!  Definitely!  We’d love to have you in.  Give this number a call and schedule the interview.”  That number was FOR, you guessed it, the same cussing employment agency.  Say it with me now:  FUCKERY.

5.  I began to sober up from my rose-colored New Years drunk, and realized that the odds of me finding something fulfilling and meaningful in Pasco, WA are slim to nil and I was some kind of blockhead for thinking otherwise.

Amazingly, it took me only two days  to shitcan the idealism and revert back to the sarcastic bitch I was before I resolved to greatness in the last month of 2010.

Viva la Snark!


13 thoughts on “Job Search Cussery

  1. Don’t give up. You know you have talent, and you can always have my job when I get fired for my Office Etiquette 101 post. (I’m a little paranoid now that someone commented about making sure my HR department can’t trace me – FUCKERY!)

  2. Stick with it, lady. I know it really does suck colossal ass (and recruitment agencies are directly from Lucifer himself) but you WILL find something. It just takes a little time. In the meantime, you can look into writing for Internet Brands, they’re a way to get some decent writing experience and they pay per article which is pretty hard to find these days.

    I feel you on the fuckery though. My contract is up in four months and I am NOT looking forward to the job search I face afterwards.

  3. Argh! I, too am on a job search and feel your frustration. CareerBuilder is almost nothing but staffing agencies. Craigslist is nothing but scams! Trying to get me to take a “free credit check” before I continue my application process with them. Ha!

    However, I’ve been a temp for several different agencies and I have advice. NEVER use an agency that requires YOU to pay. Ever. They’re a scam. True staffing agencies get paid from the client not the employee. I worked for one placement agency that had a minimum 90 days on the job or else I had to pay the finder’s fee – which is like 10% of the salary the job offered. I felt slightly uncomfortable with that but I figured I could stay anywhere for 90 days.

    Moral of my advice: It’s a fucking jungle out there but don’t give up! Just be smart about the responses you get and you’ll do fine.

    Otherwise, there are sites online that will pay you to review books and write articles for their blogs. I’ll get the links from Dylan and post them for you.

  4. Yeah, searching for work through the conventional avenues is nothing but fuckery. If you keep writing and networking with others who are doing/trying to do things similar to what you want to do, something will happen, eventually. I think. I hope. In any event, your writing rocks, and no one can take that away from you.

  5. @Shannon: Luckily, I’m too stubborn for giving up. And if your office even TRIES to cuss with you over that post…..they should know, all of those things should be on an HR poster in the breakroom already.
    @Stereo: I will be looking into that before the day is out. Thank you for the suggestion. I know this is all going to be a learning process and I’m eternally grateful for any and all advice.
    @Georgia: What’s sad is that CareerBuilder and Monster started at as really good resources. But the state of American culture is another post altogether…. As I said to Stereo, I will accept with grace any and all help. Boy do I need PMA! 😉
    @Bob: Thank you. That’s just what I’m trying to do!

    1. Yes, but today, you wrote about writing gigS (PLURAL!) that you found on Craigslist.
      Go to the Craigslist site for my area: Pasco, Kennewick, Richland (the Tri-Cities), WA.
      You will feel immediately better. 😉

  6. As someone who was once responsible for hiring, I second the comment “don’t go with any agency that makes YOU pay”. The employer should pay or it’s a scam.

    That said, don’t give up! I love your writing and know you have an audience out there. It will come.

  7. God, that sucks. I know things are really bad on that side of the border. I agree with everyone here, obviously, that you’re bound to find something eventually. Your writing is too good not to find an audience.

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